Morning Announcements And Other Such Nonsense
by SilkYuzu
Summary: Archive of related oneshots. KaiRei. Kai, a smooth talking witty punk, does the morning announcements for his high school. His sly remarks and rants are legendary, and Rei's unconsious sexyness is put up on his list of things to say in the morning.
1. IMPORTANT Author Note

I've decided that all my oneshots are getting a little confusing. So all the high school oneshots that are related to each other will be listed here as a series of oneshots.


	2. Morning Announcements

Kai pulled off his black backpack in a smooth fluid motion and carelessly threw it into his locker. He dropped his books off there too – literally.

He looked into his little magnetic mirror quickly to check if his new lip ring looked right, then stuck out his tongue to take a quick look at his tongue bar. Satisfied with his appearance, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his black, tight, sweatshirt and made his way to the broadcast room.

He walked slowly, with slightly bad posture – not that he cared. He nodded at friends and gave a few high fives. But Kai made sure to stay as far away as possible from his evil Librarian who was out to get him.

He saw Rei in the hallway, who was putting things away in his locker as well, and tying up his hair slowly, his black hair rising to show off his perfect swan neck.

Kai shook his head and closed the door behind him as he sat down in the seat before his microphone. It was his job to read off the announcements each morning, but he was known to put his own spin on things.

He flipped a switch turning on the mike and took a breath, "Mornin' guys. It's me Hiwatari again with your daily ramble and rant about school and other stuff I deem important." He leaned back in his hair, bringing the mike with him. "Lunch today is pizza not that anyone cares. Who eats it anyway? There's enough grease on there to drown someone."

"Football game tonight also. Not like we should be worried, Granger seems to think that he's got this game covered, just like the last one where we lost 49 zip."

An indignant shout from across the hall let Kai know that Granger had indeed heard him and was not happy in the slightest.

xXxXxXxXx

Rei chuckled as he sat down; watching Tyson yell at the speaker on the wall not caring that Kai couldn't hear him. It was always interesting in the morning, Kai made sure of that with his witty remarks.

He leaned back in his chair and stretched a bit, "Tyson calm down will you?" He asked quietly with a slight smile.

Kai's voice came back on with its usual amusement, "Now Granger is most likely yelling at the intercom like a moron as usual while the loveable Rei Kon kindly tells him to shut up. Yes, I said loveable. Come on, I'm not the only one who's noticed this. That guy is like constantly sexy."

Rei choked on air. Kai _never_ made comments about him, he was sure that Kai didn't even know he existed!  
Students in the class nodded and laughed, pointing at Rei's face, which now resembled a fire engine.

"Think about it seriously. When he walks, he practically sashays. Have you _seen_ those hips practically teasing you as they sway? And for those lucky guys in gym class, which includes me, I know for a fact everyone notices how he manages to fit into those ridiculously short pants that just _happen_ to showcase his ass perfectly." Kai rambled on, not caring that Rei was so embarrassed he could die.

"And maybe the girls have noticed that when he thinks really hard, he like nibbles his lower lip and makes that 'mmmnn…' noise that is almost a moan. Rei doesn't even try and he's constantly sexy. I mean most people look like hell after gym, or library for that matter, but he even makes _that_ look hot." Kai chuckled slightly, "Well here comes the principal, looks like I reached my limit for today too…" A loud scoot was heard, as Kai must have moved his chair with the mike still on, "Oh man… He has the damn library staff too. Euh, well…" Kai chuckled again. "I guess 'sexy is as sexy does' right Rei?"

And with that, a loud clatter was heard as Kai ran for his life from the angry staff and librarian – leaving an extremely embarrassed Rei in class.

xXxXxXxXx

Another drabble that I just thought up. I might re-write this one later… Review?


	3. Librarian

Bryan leaned back in his chair behind the long desk and rapped his fingers over the keyboard as he grabbed a thick book from beside him. Flipping it open, he adjusted his reading glasses, which, as Tala said, made him look that much sexier.

He sent a quick glance over at said red head, who was currently working on his class schedules for the next week. Tala was the advanced placement teacher, and he loved every minuet that he spent with the little mongrels that where his class. He enjoyed it for the most part, because it was the age of 15 when the brats personalities really started to come out.

Not that Bryan ever took notice; it was usually Tala who came home blabbering about his pupils.

Nevertheless, Bryan enjoyed his job, even if it did mean that he had to deal with the little gnats. In addition, as being librarian, he had every excuse in the world to yell at them for no apparent reason.

Sure, it was sadistic, but it felt good.

Just then, one of the freshman walked in.

Bryan raised an eyebrow, it was Kai Hiwatari. Bryan was confused, Hiwatari wasn't the type to come to class, least of all the library. Bryan smirked; he was probably half of the cause of him not wanting to come anyway. However, he had a good reason for being a pain in the ass to Hiwatari in particular. As Hiwatari was running away from the morning announcement booth, he had run through the library with a can of red spray paint.

Yup.

Librarian and punk student didn't quite see eye to eye after that, even though Bryan could help but feel a sense of… respect for someone so daring and clearly out of their mind.

Kai walked over with a load of books and other whatnot in his arms, obviously struggling to hold on to everything. He managed to wave a pass that was made from a piece of ripped paper with his homeroom teacher's signature on it. "I have a report I'm doing and I need to do some stuff here."

"That's not a real pass Hiwatari." Bryan said while putting his book down, "You're going to need to go back and get a real one so I know that you didn't forge it."

Kai huffed and glared before turning around and walking back out of the library and up the stairs to get a new pass.

"I admire that grease ball." Bryan said casually.

"That grease ball is one of my better students hun." Tala said as he grabbed an eraser from Bryan's desk. "I almost feel bad for assigning him that project because you're torturing him."

"You _do_ remember the spray paint right?" Bryan asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course." Tala put a hand on his hip, "You where raving about it for weeks."

Kai trudged back into the room with a new pass made of shiny plastic, "There, is this the _real_ pass you had in mind your highness?" He spat as he teetered to keep his balance.

Bryan shrugged, "It'll work."

Kai sighed in relief and dropped the supplies down onto the nearest empty table. Suddenly he groaned, "My notes for the project are saved on my computer log in, can I print them?"

"No," Bryan said as he got back to reading his book, "The library computers are only for finding books."

"But there's a printer right _there_." Kai said pointing at the innocent grey printer which wasn't more than 4 inches away from the monitor screen.

"It's for teachers only." Bryan said simply.

"Can I go back to class to get my written ones then?"

"No."

"Can I go get my partner's?"

"No."

Kai glared and put a hand on his hip, "Then what can I do!"

Bryan closed his book and stared at the flustered freshman for a moment, enjoying the fact that Kai's left eye was twitching from frustration. "Sit and wait for your brain to melt."

Kai huffed, grabbed his things, and promptly left. But not before flipping Bryan off much to Tala's astonishment.

Bryan sighed and smiled, "Today is a good day."

xXxXxXxXx

I've gotten a few private messages asking what I have against librarians. The answer is that I have nothing against them but my current librarian is a bitch. This was an actual conversation that we had (minus the flipping of and the 'your highness' thing). And I figured tat Bryan would fit the role well…


	4. Open Minded

"_Light travels faster than sound, which why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."_

Those where the exact words that had run through Kai's head during his 5th period English class on this dreary Monday morning. It was icy outside, so his track tryouts had been canceled due to the track being covered in slush and snow.

And in addition to it being a dreary Monday, with no sports afterwards, the new student teacher had arrived for the third marking period.

Kai had looked the man over quickly, and he seemed intelligent. He was wearing a smart outfit and thin-rimmed glasses; he had even seemed pleasant when he walked into the room.

"Um hey," The student teacher began, "I'm Mr. Granger, but you can just call me Mr. G." He grabbed a broken piece of chalk and wrote out 'Mr. G' in large letters.

Kai scoffed, he was fine with calling a teacher by a letter, but Granger was simple to pronounce and to remember. He shook it off though, not wanting to write the teacher's name on his idiot list just yet.

Mr. Granger looked down at a clipboard that he had in his left hand, "So you're an advanced class hm?" He smiled a little, "Then you should be able to learn this in a few days then." He pulled out a stack of papers from a file cabinet and had them passed around, "We're going to have a quiz on this in two weeks. Mark it down okay? I know that this is confusing, but I'll explain each one."

Kai quickly wrote his name at the top of the paper and scanned over it.

_**two**__: a pair; more than one, less than three_

**_too_**_: also; excessively _

**_to_**_: in the direction of; for the purpose of_

**_they're_**_: they are _

**_there_**_: in that place _

**_their_**_: belonging to them_

**_know_**_: have information; understand _

**_no_**_: opposite of "yes"_

**_write_**_: make marks on paper _

**_right_**_: correct; opposite of "left"_

**_quite_**_: totally; almostnot quite _

**_quiet_**_: no noise _

**_quit_**_: stop doing something _

"Are these really out vocab words?" Kai asked without raising his hand.

Rei looked over at Kai with a confused look on his face, "Why do you even care?" He asked in a hushed whisper, "All you do is sleep all class anyway."

Kai shrugged, "It's a matter of pride hun." He quickly turned his attention back to Mr. Granger.

"Yes, why?" Mr. Granger asked as he cocked his head to the side, "Are you confused by them?"

"No."

"Then what's your question?"

Kai waved the list lazily, "Why do we need to do this elementary school stuff when we're in high school? In an advanced class no less."

"Because it's important to know these things." Mr. Granger replied.

"Yes but I _already know this._" Kai said slowly as if he was speaking to a child. "Everyone here is thinking it, but too polite to say anything about it."

Mr. G seemed to take his comment in stride, and continued teaching. "Alright, so the first grouping is of 'two', 'too', and 'to'. Without looking at the paper, who can tell me the different meanings?"

All hands raised up.

"I said _without_ looking at the paper." Mr. G quipped.

"We're not." Rei said quietly.

"There is no way that all of you know how to do all this already." Mr. G scowled.

Murmurs went across the class:

"Is he for real?"

"This is probably a prank."

"Go back to the first grade!"

Mr. G's face turned a shade very similar to red. "That's it, I'm getting Mr. Ivanov." Mr. G walked out of the room.

Kai sighed in relief; Mr. Ivanov was their real teacher, and a damn good one at that. He was good-natured and fun, even though his boyfriend, the school librarian, was a bastard.

A few moments later, Both Mr. G and Mr. Ivanov where back in the room.

"So I hear you're giving the student teacher a hard time. You all know what that means, hmmm?" Mr. Ivanov did not seem pleased and put a hand on his hip.

Kai raised a hand.

"Explain yourself." Mr. Ivanov snapped.

"This doltish, puerile, sluggish excuse of a teacher is giving us elementary level vocabulary." Kai waved the paper once again, "Homophones!"

Mr. Ivanov blinked a few times in a surprised, "I thought I told you this was an _advanced_ class."

"You did." Mr. G said quietly.

Mr. Ivanov sighed, "Class, open to page 368 in the Literature book, read the poem there. Write down all the literary devices and then I was a three paragraph essay on the meaning of the poem." His foot tapped, "Now." He turned back to Mr. G, "Listen, we need to talk."

Mr. G nodded meekly and walked out into the hall behind the redhead.

Kai smiled a little, watching them leave. He turned to Rei, "You know I used to be really open minded about people like him."

"Open minded?" Rei asked, pulling out some scratch paper, "Why? DO you mean you've stopped being that way?"

"Yup." Kai leaned back across the aisle between the desks and nested his head into Rei's lap, ignoring Rei's protests, "I used to be open minded, but then my brains fell out."


	5. Creeky Seat

_**Screeeeeek!**_

Rei winced at the sharp noise his old desk made as he leaned over to grab his binder off the floor as class began. His face also flushed as he noticed that his entire class was looking at him strangely.

"Um," Rei paused, "Creaky seat." He smiled sheepishly and shifted a little as the teacher walked in.

_**Scree!**_

"Mr.Kon!" This teacher barked, "I will not tolerate nonsense in my class. May I remind you that it is first period, on a _Monday_, and the staff ran out of coffee for the teachers." He crossed his arms, "This is not the time to fool around."

Rei nodded a little with a sigh, it was going to be a long period.

And so class began as it normally did, with everyone staring at the chalkboard while the teacher gathered a stack of papers from his desk.

Rei caught a glimpse of Kai with an exacto-knife in the corner of the room. It looked like he was carving song lyrics into the desk again. Rei rolled his eyes and chuckled, he and Kai had been talking more after the "Announcement Accident" as Rei liked to put it. Also, the fact that their gifted teacher had paired them up with a project ment more contact as well.

_**Errrk….**_

Rei shifted again and ripped a piece of note book paper, and scrawled Kai's name on the side before writing a short message:

_Hey Kai,_

_How'd that whole getting notes from the library thing go?_

_The project is due this Monday, so I'd like to get it done by Sunday if you have time._

_Mmmm, have you been practicing your part?_

_Rei_

_**Screee!**_

Rei quickly passed the note down the row, via his classmates, over to Kai before his teacher's head whipped around to glare at him.

"Kon! Stop fidgeting!" He barked smacking his ruler down on his own desk.

"It's not my fault sir, it's the desk!" Rei waved his arms a little for emphasis which in turn made the desk make a series of squeaks and grunts. He immediately stopped moving in embarrassment.

Kai read over the letter quickly before writing his reply.

_Yo Sexy,_

_It didn't go. The librarian is a bitch._

_I –always- have time to do stuff over weekends if you're interested. wink wink nudge nudge_

_Why practice? I'm perfect at everything I do._

_Kai_

The note was passed back the same way it came and Rei leaned over to grab it, which unleashed another stream of strange noises for his stupid desk.

His teacher rubbed his temples a little like he was expecting a headache to come on. He sighed and continued on with his class while simultaneously trying to ignore the occasional squeak or creek coming from Rei's desk.

It wouldn't be long until everyone lost it. Everyone's teeth where grating and glaring.

_**Cree!  
Errrrrr!**_

_**Crasqueee!**_

Suddenly, Kai stood up, and walked across the room to where Rei was sitting. He firmly took hold of Rei's wrist and dragged him back to his seat in the corner of the room by the door.

Sitting down, he pulled Rei into his lap and wrapped an arm around his waist to make sure that he didn't slip. Kai smirked and rested his head on Rei's shoulder, not caring about the strange looks he was getting. "There," He smiled, "no more creeky seat."

… … … …

Another one shot in my high school genre between Kai and Rei. I suggest that you read my other's, Morning Announcements and Bryan the Librarian if you want to get the inside jokes in this one.


End file.
